Bah, Humbug!
by Screenname
Summary: A parody of "A Christmas Carol" starring Snape as Scrooge and Dan Creevey as Tiny Tim! Please r/r!
1. I Wish You a Horrible Christmas

Bah, Humbug!  
  
Summary: "A Christmas Carol" Harry Potter style.  
  
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. Literally. I don't own the characters or the plot. Well, I made some up, but they were based on ACC characters. Satisfied now? *Hangs head in shame*  
  
A/N: I just had to do a Christmas story, and I've always wondered about Snape and Scrooge. Yeah. Don't ask. Just r/r please (make my day-review when done!)  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Professor Severus Snape was looking around his classroom. He hated it. Everyone was so happy and so content. It was sickening to look at them.  
  
He hated Christmas. He always had. He thought it was stupid and too cheerful. He even hated the presents. In his opinion, there was no purpose for Christmas. It was just an excuse for people to act queer and get present. Yup, that was it.  
  
And there, coming towards him, was something to make him even angrier.  
  
"Uhm, Professor Snape, Sir, I was wondering if, uhm, instead of correcting essays, uhm, I could have tomorrow off. It is Christmas, after all."  
  
Willem de Praag was a student teacher. He was training to be a potions teacher at the small Dutch magic school located in the Netherlands- The Rembrandt School of Magic (A/N: K, here's the deal-I just made up that he was a wizard and opened a magic school, ok?).  
  
"Mister Praag, how many times do I need to tell you? I need those essays corrected by the 26th."  
  
"But Professor, my fia-"  
  
"I NEED THEM CORRECTED!" Snape bellowed. The whole potions class was looking at them.  
  
"What are you looking at!" Snape yelled. The class all went back to work. Snape's attention went back to Praag. His menacing eyes dug into Praag's fearful ones. He was going to win this.  
  
"But-"  
  
"Mister Praag," Snape whispered, "don't you remember our deal? You do want more "Smurfs" videos, don't you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You may go now."  
  
"But-"  
  
"YOU MAY GO. NOW!"  
  
"Yes, sir." There was sadness in Praag's eyes-his fiancé had come all the way from Amsterdam to spend the holidays with him in Hogsmeade, but correcting 3-roll long essays from every student from every year was going to take all day. He sighed-there was nothing he could do.  
  
Snape looked at his colleague as he walked off, his head down and tears in his tired eyes. You'd think he would feel sorry for Praag-but Snape felt no pity or guilt as he watched him walk out of the classroom. In fact, he was rather satisfied with himself. He grinned as he got up and went back to teaching his class.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Professor Snape looked up from his desk as the clock struck eleven.  
  
"One more hour till Christmas," he quietly mumbled to himself.  
  
He got up. He was too tired to go on. He walked out of his classroom and up the stairs to the teacher's dormitories. He changed into his pajamas and got a little piece of Christmas bread the house elves had made for the teachers.  
  
"Well, at least the food is good," Snape thought.  
  
He took out his book (3000 Ways to give out Detention) and started to read. The only sound you could hear was the turning of the pages and the ticking of the large Grandfather clock.  
  
"Ding, ding."  
  
Twelve. Snape looked at the clock.  
  
"Merry Christmas." he said dully.  
  
"Merry Christmas to you, too, Severus."  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Short chappie, I know.but they WILL get longer, trust me. This is kinda like a prologue. PLEASE R/R!!! Please, just tell me what you think *grins hopefully*) 


	2. Old Friends and Christmas Muffins

Disclaimer: I own nada.  
  
Chapter two-the mysterious character is revealed!  
  
A/N: I'd like to thank Silver Phoenix for telling me how to upload. Thanks!  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Snape turned around. He couldn't believe his eyes. There, standing right in front of him was the ghost of Evan Rosier.  
  
"E-e-e-Evan?"  
  
"Good evening, Serv. How are you doing?" Evan Rosier was Snape's right hand when he was alive-they were as the best of friends at Hogwarts, and partners in their Death Eater days. When an Auror named Alastor Moody killed him, Snape decided it was time for him to straiten himself out, which was right before Voldemort's downfall.  
  
"You-you-you're a ghost!" Snape was shocked.  
  
"Well, I wasn't exactly happy when I died, was I now? I mean, I could've escaped, but Wilkes had to blow our cover, the dum-"  
  
"Jason Wilkes?"  
  
"Yeah.Voldemort put us together to kill the Joys while you and Wormtail were out searching for information about the Potter's remember?"  
  
"Yes, Ev, I remember now."  
  
"But I hear you're teaching the boy now."  
  
"Yes, Harry Potter, the one who made the Dark Lord disappear. Evan, can I ask you something?"  
  
"You ahead, Serv."  
  
"Would you still be on Voldemort's side if you were alive?" Snape had been very curious about that ever since Voldemort disappeared.  
  
"I don't know. I honestly don't." Evan replied quietly.  
  
"Anyways," Snape said, changing the subject, "why are you here?"  
  
"To give you these," Evan handed Snape a box of Christmas muffins.  
  
"Oooh, muffins!" Snape eagerly grabbed them and started munching on them. He loved muffins-they were his weakness.  
  
"And to tell you that there will be three other ghosts who will visit you tonight."  
  
Snape dropped his precious muffin. "WHAT?"  
  
"Three ghosts will come to visit you tonight, the first one arriving at the strike of one. That is all I will say."  
  
Snape picked up his muffin ("5 second rule!" he thought) and stared at the ghost in front of him.  
  
"But."  
  
"You can't avoid this, my friend."  
  
"What am I avoiding?"  
  
"You'll see.remember, at the strike of one!"  
  
"Wait!" It was too late. Snape watched as his best friend disappeared right in front of his eyes.  
  
Snape looked at the clock. Ten to one.  
  
"Maybe this was all a dream." He pinched himself. Nothing.  
  
"Well, maybe it was just an illusion. I mean, Evan was a real ghost, but he always was a joker.. " Snape tried to reassure himself. He wasn't scared of what Evan said-he was.well, nervous. He didn't know why. There were just butterflies in his stomach. What would the ghosts look like, and why would they come?  
  
Snape carefully walked over to his bed. His nice, sweet bed. He sat on it and dropped his head to his pillow.  
  
He could hear the ticking of the clock. It seemed to go so slowly now that he was awaiting something. Tick, tock.tick, tock.his eyes slowly closed.tick, tock.. He couldn't give in to sleep, he was so tired.tick, tock..DING!  
  
"Heya, Snapie!"  
  
Snape shot up from his pillow and looked at the thing in front of him.  
  
"Oh, no, not you!"  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
(I didn't use any original characters in this so far-they are all real! YAY! PLEASE r/r!!) 


	3. Annoying Ghosts and Haunting Memories

Disclaimer: I own NADA.  
  
Summary: The Ghost of the Past.who shall it be? *rubs chin in though*  
  
A/N: I couldn't hold back from using OC.bad Dutchie.but I feel so bad for Snape that he has no love.it will all come together in my fic! Hehe! Thank you reviewers!  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
"What, you aren't happy to see me? You know what? That just really hurts my feelings!" Peeves the poltergeist pouted.  
  
"Well, I'd rather have anyone BUT you to show me my horrible mistakes from the past" Snape snapped. Peeves started bouncing off the ceilings.  
  
"Well, who else would you want?" Peeves yelled while zooming around.  
  
Snape shrugged.  
  
"Well," Peeves suddenly stopped, "Ya got me! Let's go" He suddenly grabbed Snape's hand and they flew off out the open window.  
  
Snape was actually flying! He felt the cold night air lightly tickle his face, and was glad he put on his warm cashmere robe. All of a sudden, he was flying into a neon blue light. They started swirling, and he felt the poltergeist's hand leave his. He fell into the white, fluffy, and freezing snow.  
  
"Aow! Why did you let go?" Snape asked angrily.  
  
"Oh, shush. Now, let's get down to business." Peeves said casually.  
  
Snape got up and dusted himself off. "What do we do now?"  
  
"Look!"  
  
Snape looked at the building across from him. It was Hogwarts.  
  
"What are we doing here?" Snape asked with an irritated tone in his voice.  
  
"Just look, you stupey." Peeves said. Snape looked.  
  
There he was.well, it was the younger him. He was sitting in a Hogwarts boat with a nervous look on his face. They were crossing the lake.  
  
"My first year." Older Snape whispered. He watched the boats disappear into Hogwarts. Next Snape knew, he was standing in the back of the Great Hall, watching the first years from the past getting ready to get sorted.  
  
Memories of Hogwarts flooded back into Snape's mind. His midnight outings with Evan, his classes, his times torturing Gryffindors with Lucius Malfoy and his cronies.and all the fun he had in his younger days at Hogwarts.  
  
Snape realized that the Sorting Hat's song was over and they were just about in the middle of the Sorting.  
  
"Malfoy, Lucius!"  
  
A tall boy with white blonde hair sat down on the chair and began to put the hat on when the sorting hat said "SLYTHERIN!" He looked overjoyed and joined the Slytherin table.  
  
Snape looked over at the Slytherin table and saw a lot of faces he recognized. Jason Wilkes, Barty Flint, who were both 3rd years, Kirstin Parkinson and her twin, Tristan, who were also his friends and later became superb beaters for the quidditch team.in fact, they were the only Slytherins in his year who didn't become Death Eaters-they played professional quidditch and later played on the National Dutch team.his thoughts were interrupted when a familiar name was called.  
  
"Rosier, Evan!"  
  
Snape snapped his head to the sorting. He saw his former best friend slowly walked over to the sorting hat and popped it on his head. After a while, it rang out "SLYTHERIN!" Evan had a look of relief on his face as he joined Kirstin and Tristan at the Slytherin table.  
  
Snape knew who was coming next.  
  
"Snape, Severus!"  
  
Snape watched himself at 11 walk up to the hat and place it on his head. After a few seconds, it yelled "SLYTHERIN!" Snape watched himself join Evan, whom he had met earlier on the train, and the Parkinson twins. He watches his young eyes light up at the sight of the pretty girl.  
  
"Hi! My name is Severus." Younger Snape introduced himself to the girl.  
  
"Hallo, Severus! My name is Kirstin, and that's my twin, Tristan." Kirstin replied. Tristan nodded to show that he was listening.  
  
And suddenly, Snape felt Peeves's cold hand on his, and they were flying once again.  
  
Snape landed with a thump. This time it wasn't in the fluffy snow, it was in a cold hallway of Hogwarts. He got up and looked around.  
  
"This must be in between periods," he thought to himself. He suddenly noticed some familiar faces.  
  
There he was, in what looked like his 7th year, walking around with the Parkinson twins, Evan, and Malfoy and his cronies. He and Kirstin were walking hand in hand-they had been dating for the past two years. Snape remembered that his time with Kirstin was the happiest he had been in his 7 years at Hogwarts.  
  
Younger Snape suddenly ran back to get his book that he forgot in Flitwick's room. While he was running, he ran into a pretty girl with deep auburn hair and beautiful emerald eyes. Lily Evans.  
  
"Oh! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you!" Lily said hastily while picking up Snape's dropped things.  
  
"Oh.it's fine.don't worry about it." Snape looked up into Lily's dazzling green eyes.  
  
He snapped back to reality.  
  
"Uhm.would you like me to walk you to your next class?" He asked with a tint of light pink on his cheeks.  
  
"Sure!" Lily was blushing also.  
  
"I'm Severus Snape, by the way."  
  
"Lily Evans. Nice to meet you."  
  
And the couple walked off together.  
  
Older Snape looked at the two walking off with a bit of guilt in his eyes. He was only happy with Lily for so long. He remembered how hard it was telling Kirstin that he was dating Lily now. He thought back to all the good times he had with her and realized that he was a foolish thing to do, date Lily just because she was so pretty. She actually bored him at times. But he never had the heart to break up with her, because every time he was going to, those gorgeous eyes mesmerized him. She was quite a seductress, that Lily Evans.  
  
Snape didn't even realize they were now out of Hogwarts and in Hogsmeade. He looked around. This was Hogsmeade about 20 years ago. Some of the shops were brand new, the Three Broomsticks just opened, and the Shrieking Shack was a little less beat up.  
  
He saw two figures sitting on a bench. It was snowing softly and the snowflakes tickled his face. One of the figures started talking.  
  
"Severus, I don't feel we're getting anywhere. I don't feel that you are totally committed to making this relationship work. You're always.grumpy, and I can't stand it when you don't pay enough attention to me. Us. Are you listening?" Lily Evans was saying.  
  
"What? Oh, yeah, sure, I totally feel that way too." Younger Snape said dryly.  
  
A look of disgust fell over Lily's face.  
  
"Ugh! Consider this relationship over, Severus!" Lily snapped and got up. She shot one last look at Snape, turned around and walked off.  
  
The younger Snape didn't even look like he cared. In fact, Snape knew that he didn't. He remembered thinking "Finally! Now I can get back to Kirstin, if she's single."  
  
And she wasn't. She was dating Remus Lupin at the time.  
  
Peeves's hand grabbed Snape's as they took off into the snowy sky. Snape closed his eyes to prevent the snow from stinging them.  
  
Moments later, he landed on his bed.  
  
"Well, hope you enjoyed! See ya around, Snapey! HA HA!" Peeves shot off.  
  
Snape looked at the clock. Ten to two. He had a little time to think about what had just happened in the last 50 minutes. He had seen some hurtful memories of his younger years. He felt so guilty about dating Lily. He never truly loved her. He joined the Death Eaters right after she broke up with him, and after he found out Kirstin wasn't available. He was so angry at the world at the time. Being a Death Eater seemed to be the perfect solution to his problems.  
  
Two to two.  
  
Snape wondered who the next ghost would be.  
  
"Anyone is better than Peeves!" He said aloud.  
  
Thirty seconds to go.  
  
He quietly sat on his bed, rotating his thumbs.  
  
"Ding! Dong!" The clock struck two.  
  
Snape looked up.  
  
"Good evening, Professor!"  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: Yes, again w/ the Dutch people.I noticed how in ALL of Rowling's books, almost every country in Western Europe is mentioned except my dear Holland. Grr. So THAT, my friends, is why I put Dutch people in MY stories. Hehe. Please r/r!! 


End file.
